2:59

So Jordan and James of Pastepunk, in what I am sure will be looked upon as the blunder of the season, asked that I provide a guest column for their illustrious webzine. The subject was “reissue wishlist,” which both satisfies the music nerd urges for listmaking and thinly veiled outrage. In case you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll have noticed the strategy employed by nearly all mildly successful emo and metalcore bands these days. First you release a fairly standard full length, but the second you see a twinkle of recognition from the kids, you unleash the special edition reissue.

These unwanted behemoths all feature a few telltale characteristics:

• Firstly the original cover art must be discarded or at least covered with a paper slipcover. Any show of confidence in the original artistic vision of the artists or the band must be shunted, as the album is no longer a work of art, it is a power-branding machine.
• As such, the new facade will merely be the band’s logo, enormous as possible, over a solid colour background. Points are added if the logo is printed in raised foil. Remember comic books from the speculator boom of the early 90s? It’s like Spectacular Spider-man #829, which features the third resurrection of the Aunt May clone and a Wolverine guest appearance, released with a series of 8 collectible interlocking foil hologram variant covers. This is the CD equivalent.
• Additional points are added if the name of the record is left off of the new art, it is inconsequential to the power-branding machine.
• The CD must now be paired with either an acoustic EP of the same songs or a DVD, anything to create the illusion of added value.
• The DVD must feature pointless camcorder footage shot by the band, or an overly ambitious and ill conceived video art project from any number of aspiring indie directors.
• The DVD must have no replay value, but must simply exist to assist the band in achieving more video releases in their 3 year lifespan then, say, the Rolling Stones ever have.

These are the big marks to hit, I’m sure you’ve observed others. The release must elicit a second purchase from the poor kids who bought the original, and make those that have yet to purchase it feel foolish for missing the dawn of a new cultural epoch. This is no longer a record, it is a monolith. Pastepunk’s taken the stand of recommending releases that actually deserver a reissue, be it albums that are out of print, albums with legitimate historical value that deserve a second look, or albums so good that they deserve another shot.

So what did I choose?

1. Pilfers’ self-titled and self-released debut from the 3rd wave ska heyday
2. Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet’s Canadian classic Savvy Show Stoppers
   
3. The self-titled record from Franklin, the band that spawned the Jai-Alai Savant
4. New Bomb Turks scorching sophomore effort Information Highway Revisited
5. Toronto first wave punk museum piece The Last Pogo

Check it out: Reissue Wishlists With Adam & Aubin of Punknews.org